First off, let me say hello to all the folks who are coming in via the PC Magazine Top 100 Blogs story. I am glad that you either got all the way to the end of the list of blogs to find my contribution, or that you actually had an interest in the blogs of PC Magazine staffers. Hi! I’m a lush.

Anyway, it’s red wine time! Red red wiiiiine. I’ve been vaguely plotting going out to California again sometime soon, so I picked up a Sonoma wine tonight. The Seghesio Zinfandel has such a powerful aroma that I can smell it strongly while the glass is sitting three feet behind me on my dresser. Up directly under the nose, it’s a serious powerhouse of heavy, spicy red scents.

And the taste? This is one of the few wines that has made me immediately say “Wow!” after the first sip. This really knocks my socks off. It gives an immediate strong hit of flavor, sweet and fruity on the tip of the tongue, spicy throughout, and with a bit of smokiness on the finish. Goddamn, this is making me really wish I had a bigass steak to go with this wine right now. This just begs to go with meat.

Okay, that’s it, it’s time to book a flight out to California. And keep drinking this wine, which–no exaggeration here–gives me shivers down my back. And will probably lay me out on my back, due to the 15.2% alcohol content. For a $20 wine? Just outstanding. Words won’t really do it justice… this one, you need to try.

BUY IT AGAIN?: Oh, mama, yes.

I’m just going to be upfront about this: I bought this wine because I’m a sucker for a gimmick. The store had a couple of bottles sitting upright on one of the shelves, and it caught my eye because the cork looked like it was all made of white wax, or something similar. And when I investigated more closely, I was even more interested, because this stuff was shiny.

Because this wine? Has gold flakes in it.

I did a whole two laps and a half around the store (which is what I do when I’m thinking about whether or not I should buy something that’s a little silly and a little out of the range that I wanted to spend) before I came back to get this one. This’ll probably be the last white I buy for a while, since finally, finally temperatures are starting to drop, and I will be able to drink red wine again without wanting to suicide. I decided to whip out the credit card and be stupid to get a stupid-looking, shinyshiny wine.

The wine is a mix of Gewürztraminer, Viognier, and Chardonnay. Two of those three grapes I just love, and I could basically never drink another goddamned Chardonnay in my life and be happy (although I suppose that would be a good goal for me: to find chardonnays that don’t just make me roll my eyes), so I had a feeling the wine might have something beyond its shiny gimmick. My expectations were low, since, well, the bottle was full of gold, but after I let my roommate take a bunch of pictures of the shimmery bottle, I cracked it open and ended up quite pleased.

I initially overchilled this (stuck it in the freezer and then got distracted wrestling my kitchen window open and peeling two heads of garlic), so my first impressions were ‘ah, it’s cold! And it’s white wine!’ But as it returned to a more reasonable temperature, I got some nice scents and flavors. This had a very good aroma; something between pears and peaches, and a little bit of honey. The gold flakes had the benefit of getting me to swirl it a lot to keep them from settling at the bottom, so I kept getting waves of the bouquet. On the tongue, this wine was very acidic–mouth-puckeringly so–but not citrusy at all. Each sip of it just made me want to drink more… despite the acidity, it had a taste of very wet fruits–pear, peach, melon. I really quite enjoyed it. It went well with the massively garlic and chorizo heavy soup I made for dinner tonight.

This wine, while ridiculous, was fun, and almost good enough to justify the price. At the end of the day, though, I’m just wondering if drinking this whole bottle tonight is going to leave me shitting sparkles.

BUY IT AGAIN?: Depends on whether or not I shit sparkles. IS THAT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING? YOU MAKE THE CALL.

As I said in my very first review here at Boozy McGuzzles, Cline wines are an amazing and lovely thing. The one afternoon I spent in Sonoma was so special and so wonderful, that whenever I see a wine from any of the three wineries we visted (Mayo Family Winery, Chateau St. Jean, and Cline Cellars), I sort of feel compelled to buy them. They’re the most beloved wines of my dear friends, and they’re just damn good.

When I was celebrating… something… possibly the fact that it was Friday? Maybe I’d just gotten paid? I don’t know, but there was some reason I was buying a large number of bottles of wine (mostly vinho verdes, as it is summer), and I espied a Cline wine in the liquor store’s refrigerated case, and I had no choice but to buy it. I’d likely had some whites in my tasting when I was there, but none that I could remember. I am beginning to think myself a fan of Viogniers, so I was happy to snap it up.

And oh, oh, it was so lovely. This was a wine that was just enchanting, especially for its price. It had a heady aroma of peaches, but was not overly sweet; that was the real amazing thing about it, the way it managed its sweetness. This wine had all these wonderful notes of honey and sweet fruits, but without really being sweet or cloying at all. Absolutely beautiful.

BUY IT AGAIN: Oh, yes.

My roommate of two years recently moved out under amicable circumstances. She left me with many things. For instance, a fridge full of half-empty, freezerburnt bags of peas; and a giant jug of kimchee in the fridge. She also left me with this dust-covered bottle of merlot, which I pulled out from under the sofa when she was in the process of packing. I am almost never one to turn down free booze, so I cracked it open as the second bottle of the night, with extremely low expectations. And those expectations were met!

This wine was like a punch in the face with a vanilla bean. VANILLA VANILLA VANILLA OAK OAK OAK OAK OAK (the label did say five oaks, so I was sufficiently warned.) A quick googling reveals that there are possibly up to three wineries named “Five Oaks”; this was the Californian variety. I was not crazy about this wine, but it was still drinkable without requiring me to make any faces or unpleasant groans. As it opened up, it took on a raisin-y taste, but not really in a good way, like you’ll find in carignanes. Definitely not the worst wine I’ve ever put in my mouth, but more or less exactly what you’d expect for a wine under the sofa.

BUY FIND IT AGAIN: Well, if I ever find another bottle hiding in my apartment, I’d probably drink it, but I’d do that with a lot of things.

I first had Cline wine when I went on my whirlwind (okay, less whirlwind and more drunken tumbleweed) tour of Sonoma with my dearest friends Martha and Stephen. It was the last stop on our visit, and most of the reason was specifically to buy this wine, which is Stephen’s father’s favorite wine in the whole wide world, or so I’m told.

I’m pretty sure I had some of this that day, but it was the end of a day of many sips and pours, so I can hardly remember. The ‘ancient vines’ in the name means that the wine is made from what you would call in the food whore circles, heirloom grapes. I’ve had another of the Cline ancient vines wines, in that case a carignane (mmm, I loves me some carignane), and I tell ya, those old grapes make for some tasty stuff.

This zinfandel (and let me tell you, before my last trip to California, I did not know zinfandel outside of that godawful pink stuff my stepmother drinks) is delightful; I can see why Stephen’s dad, who is a gentleman of refined taste, would love it. The aroma is very rich… my first thought was leather when I was swirling it around, and then cinnamon, and eventually some berry and chocolate. The taste doesn’t have much of the tannic problem that often turns me off of red wine—instead it’s just rich on the tongue and all the way down.

If this wine were a man, it would be one of them dudes in pornographic Japanese manga. Like, a good one, with the broad shoulders and strong jawline and well-cut suits, not the kind that rapes you and makes you like it. I have definitely had wines that have raped me and made me like it, though. Those are mostly whites, though, I think.

BUY IT AGAIN: Yes, though the price makes me want to save it for special occasions.