Okay, I know what you’re probably thinking from the title of this post: Gross. But stick with me! This beverage does not involve you starving yourself for two weeks or pooping a lot. At least not if you do it right.
If it’s not clear what I’m referring to, have a little light reading. In short, the actual Master Cleanse is a terribly unwise thing that people do to cleanse their body of alleged toxins and impurities by, as mentioned, starving themselves and pooping a lot. My professional opinion as a medical doctor is that this whole thing is a load of—to use the technical term—hooey. Sounds terribly unhealthy! Not at all like my favorite healthy activity: drinking!
I always did find the sound of mixture of maple syrup, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper to be appealing, though. It sounds like a pleasant treat, but since I’m fond of the bacteria in my intestinal tract, I never bothered to sample anything like it. That was until I bought Sortilège Maple Syrup and Whisky Liqueur. It was one of those impulse purchases in the liquor store, when you spend a while staring at the various liqueurs and going, my god! Dill liqueur? Pine eau de vie! Maple Liqueur sounded just crazy enough to work, and I bought it without really having a grand plan of what to use it in. And then I remembered the Cleanse and got to formulating.
All the refreshing flavor with none of the presumed health benefits! Behold, the Master Cleanse:
Ingredients:
2 oz Sortilège Maple Liqueur
3 oz lemonade or sparkling lemonade
several dashes cayenne pepper
Put ice in a glass, put the ingredients in that glass, stir, and serve. It’s sweet and tart and a little spicy (or a lot, depending on how heavy handed you are with cayenne). And best of all, it is absolutely, positively, not good for you at all. Unless we mean spiritually.

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